“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
I chose this quote because it is from one of my favorite authors, but also because of the message that it gives. I have looked at myself in the mirror before and realized at that moment I was choosing to make a mistake. I have made conscious decisions to choose something that I knew was not going to be something that I would look back on and say “Wow what a good decision!”
One of those mistakes was trying to persuade myself to be a business major. In fact I deceived myself with that delusion for a good 2 years in total. I was convinced I was going to be the next business success. Wow was I wrong. But there is something that I did discover, and that was that my English teachers had been right all along. I needed to be an English Major. That was where my talent lied and where I found happiness. I even find happiness in writing papers about writers like Jane Austen. Anything has to be better than trying to learn accounting. But to say that, the mistake I made was a bad mistake or that it was a waste of my time I cannot do that. I realize that it was not the fit for me. I realize that two years that I could have been progressing towards my degree were wasted but I will never look back and wonder, what if I had been a business major. I know that I am happy doing what I am doing. I am happy reading Shakespeare’s Henry the V and preparing for my class next semester by reading literary criticisms.
Just as I learned from that mistake I look at all those mistakes I have made consciously and unconsciously and I realize that even the ones that hurt me have had a purpose in helping me become the person I am today. I cannot avoid life. None of us can. We must confront it head bearing down ready to charge through life’s obstacles. I say yes to life. Let us all live saying yes and not regretting what might come from lacking courage to take the risks. Without risks you cannot gain anything. I am willing to take the risk to find my happiness. I hope all you are too.
The first time I read Eleven Minutes was after my mission to Buenos Aires, Argentina. A girl I met there recommended Paulo Coelho to me and gave me one of his book. It was Veronika Decides to Die and it was the beginning of my admiration of him as a writer. To be honest, the book is not my favorite of his nor is Eleven Minutes but I do enjoy reading his books. What I loved so much about his writing is that it is different from anything I have ever read. It is spiritual and causes reflection and yet at the same time it is not the kind of spiritual that you find in church on Sundays. He writes of the connection between magic and God and writes about the “female” side of God.
It was hard for me to read at first, as are most things that go against one’s beliefs but I appreciate it for the quality that it is and I respect that there are people that believe in the things he writes about. However, just because it goes against what I believe doesn’t mean I don’t find value in it. For example one of my favorite books he has written is The Pilgrimage. I enjoyed this book because even though it was not in direct correlation with my personal beliefs or the way I would choose to worship it gives me a sense of spirituality. I understand what he writes about, striving to purify oneself and trying to become enlightened. Who hasn’t experienced that? I think every person who has ever lived has felt the need to know some higher being. Some connect through meditation, others through prayer, vision quests, the list goes on. But what is the same is that we feel that there is a connection to something greater than the self. And that common ground is what I keep in mind when I read his writing.
I love reading Paulo Coelho. In fact he is one of my favorite authors. His books are best sellers and if you ever read them you will understand why. I have read all of his books, regardless of the content because he is such a talented writer. Loyalty to a writer is not a thing that I am accustomed to. Loyalty to authors, music artists, artists, or actors has always been lost on me. In fact loyalty to any type of consumer product is lost on me. If they put out a horrible movie, a crappy piece of art, a bad book, a bad computer, or any crappy consumer product why would you feel obligated to buy it? Loyalty to such things seems pointless. If they want to be successful they need to continue to put out good products and if they don’t they can look to lose those who enjoy what they put out. That said I am loyal to Paulo Coehlo because he does not put out any half-ass books. He stays true to his dedication to writing and only published quality writing. Some books are better than others but they are all well written.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
― Oscar Wilde
I have been trying to learn to write more on my blog. My wife is so good at writing on these things and I figured that if there is something that I as an English major should be able to do it is write so here goes. I have been trying to find a way to write more and I have been thinking that maybe having daily activities that I center my life on might be a good way. So for today’s quote I am using one that I came across online. It is from Oscar Wilde and I chose it because I agree with it and can admit that I am one of those people that exist and rarely live. By this I mean I go through the actions of existence, work and home and repeating things everyday. So in a way this quote has given me the courage to find how to live my life. Part of living my life is going to be in analyzing it and sharing with anyone who desires to read this my thoughts. They may be boring and they may be monotonous but I want to be able to keep a record for myself and for others.
When I think of people that have lived life, I often don’t think of people from my own generation. I wonder if Oscar Wilde saw today’s youth and what they do, how they spend their time. Would what people do now constitute as living life? I hardly think playing video games with others that you never see online qualifies as living. I don’t think a lot of things that we do these days qualifies as living. What has happened to us? I was looking this up and on the website socialeyezer.com they showed a statistical graph that shows that teenagers today spend about eleven hours a day using media sources. I can’t imagine having spent that much time using media when I was in high school. But even now, that I am older, in college and getting my B.A. in English Literary Studies I recognize that my computer has become too much of a focal point in my life. And with access to sites like facebook.com and hulu.com and even worse netflix.com the temptation to wire myself into those sites is hard to ignore. Everything I ever wanted to know, or wanted to see, music I wanted to listen to, all those things are at my finger tips. And that is hard to push away. But as I said all these things don’t consist of living. It sucks you into a false reality. Socializing does not consist of liking a page or a status. Those are good conversation starters I’m sure for the world outside of the internet but Facebook is not socializing. You will never make a friend on Netflix and it’s easy to have 900+ friends on Facebook. YOu never really have to interact with any of them. Living life means having problems with people, confronting problems and dealing with conflict. Living life is seeing something first hand not an image on the internet. Living life is cooking a recipe that you weren’t sure you could and yet you tried it anyway, not seeing it on Pinterest and then re-pinning it only to forget that you ever thought about trying it out.
Do these websites have a place in our lives? Of course they do! But to live life we must stop saying that we are going to do things. We must stop just putting things on our bucket list, or leap list or whatever you want to call it, and you must start doing those things you want to do. I for one will and I hope to be able to start placing some wonderful videos and pictures of myself living life.
